Forgiveness and the Consequences of Decisions

Life is potent. 

We come here to learn. 

I have been tuning into the fact that my whole life up until now has been very divinely guided. Specifically the fact that I have always had the innate knowing to trust and follow my "higher self" wisdom. 

One particular example of this I was just made acutely aware of this past week, was the life altering choice I made at 16 years old to NOT get emancipated from my father. I was so close to severing my relationship with him because of the anger and frustration I felt at that time with how he treated my mom which in my eyes had caused her to loose her battle with cancer. Had he played his cards differently she would still be here. Of course the same could be said for her too, as it always takes two to tango. Long story cut massively short, at 16 years old, now mother-less and living in Germany finishing my 10th grade year in boarding school, I was faced with a very real decision. Do I consciously choose to leave Europe and move back to North Carolina? Move back into my fathers house with my younger brother in a pretty emotionally toxic environment, or do I stay away for the short term benefit of my "health"? Ultimately I listened to the wise voice inside me saying "it is best to heal your relationship with your father by going back and facing what is hard to face, by doing so you will save yourself so much anguish in the long run". So I did. I moved back to North Carolina on the premise that I could continue going to the Waldorf High School that I had started in my 9th grade year. 

And BOY am I so fucking glad I did, that was the best decision all around.

Instead of choosing a decision based out of anger, I chose to do what was in my "highest good" by tapping into the aspect of myself that always knows what my highest good is! Because of this decision, I am where I am today and I couldn't be happier and more proud of who I am and what I have accomplished up until this point. 

I have come such a long way in terms of practicing and understanding forgiveness. My father has been truly one of my greatest teachers in this regard. I have come to fully understand who he is and how he operates, from a neutral and objective standpoint. By being able to see him for who he is and see his set characteristics that I have no power in changing, I am free to let him BE! I am free to love him in all of his light and all of his shadow. Through truly seeing things from a "big picture" perspective, I have also freed myself of all of the drama and struggle that so many humans deal with on a daily basis. 

In this moment, (and for a long while now), I feel whole with my relationship with my father and everything that transpired between him and my mother 10 plus years ago.  Seeing him over the last 5 days has been such a treat! It was the first time in over 3 years that we connected in person and it was so sweet to see how similar we are in some quirky regards. 

I obviously felt inspired to write this blog post because of this realization I had 2 days ago- surrounding that BIG decision I made at 16. Had I made the choice to emancipate, I don't think I would have had quite as smooth of a healing journey as I have had. Because I continually listen to my intuition and deeply trust myself in that way, I keep making amazing decisions that lead my ever further down the path I want to be on. 

Yet, I realize, this is a rare thing to hear about. Especially coming from a 26 year old, who has been doing this whole "following your intuition thing" for pretty much her whole life. Yet, for me I don't know another way. I don't know how to not be authentic and how to not listen to my heart. It seems pretty straightforward to me. But, it is because this is not a common "straightforward practice" in our society today, that most of humanity has lots of regrets, and is by and large, living a life of quite desperation. 

My friends. This has got to change. We have got to as a collective WAKE UP. We have got to start embodying our precious earth-suits so that we can feel into situations and truly make the decision that is in our highest good! We have got to let the fear GO. We have got to find practices that empower each and everyone of us. We have got to start creating the lives we were destined to have and feeling so incredibly fulfilled and happy in the process. We CANNOT settle for mediocre anymore. We cannot. 

Because we have settled for mediocrity, we have sold our souls to the devil so to speak. We are divine beings with unlimited creative potential. We shall not settle to live "lives of quite desperation", rather, we shall experience "lives of unlimited potential"? Why? Because we can- and it is sure a hell of a lot more satisfying. 

So with that beautiful friends, I bid you goodbye for now. 

Excited at this tidbit of inspiration- feeling into the potential of this line of work to be infused into my coaching practice down the road. Ultimately I want to help heal, transform, and shift this beautiful planet. To do that, it starts with each one of us taking personal accountability for our own lives, thoughts, actions, and relationships. What can you do in your own life to make peace with certain people/relationships? Get back to me on that one!