5 Things You Can't Do When You Have A Cold

I just wrote a post about 15 things you CAN do while you have a cold. I thought it would be kind of hilarious to point out at least 10 things you CAN'T* do while under the same spell....
*Can't in this context means to take with a grain of salt. I am not saying you can't because of course everyone can do anything they please... An alternative title for those that are linguistically picky can be:

5 Things that you probably wouldn't want to do while under the influence of a Cold:

1. Make Out: If you make out you might die. It becomes almost impossible to breath. Your nose drips all over your partner... and you might make weird piggy sounds.

2. Sing for any worthwhile Audition: I don't know about you, but when my nose is stuffed I just sound like a nasely broad trying to sing... would never work if I was trying to win a contest or anything where I need to actually sound like a superstar.

3. Feel motivated: Now... I have had degree's of "Cold Sickness". The last few that hit me were over in 3 days and not bad at all. This current bugger has had me on a roller coaster, each night thinking the next day I would get better, when only to wake up with a more congested head the next morning. It is pretty dang hard to feel motivated to get much shit done, plan my next business move, organize anything, deep clean the house....or anything related to action. So this is when I throw in the towel and allow myself to be the lazy person I usually dread. I usually end up thinking, "well, well, well... look here, I now have ALL this free time cause I feel like shit, and I may as well watch movies that are educational, or you-tube some relevant information." But, when the shit hits the fan as they say, the last thing I ACTUALLY want to do is feel productive or "on top" of it in any way. Instead why not smoke a big bowl, drink some homemade mead, and watch America's Got Talent on YouTube?


4. Look Sexy: Now for most of us it doesn't matter what we wear, do, or say- sexiness just literally oozes from our pores making men and women drool like baby puppies.  For the few out there that have a hard time getting that sexy groove on, even in the midst of sickness- there are probably plenty of online programs that specifically speak to you as the target audience. Cause I know that we ALL want to feel hellishly sexy even in the midst of the not so sexy cold.




5. Run Out of Toilet Paper:  It might be a challenge. Depending on the severity of your case....
If it seems like you are starting to get low on on that precious TP- you may want to assess your situation quickly. See if anyone in the household feels well enough to run to the store to buy some more. If not, or if you live alone, you could always go knock on a neighbors door and try not to look TOO embarrassed. For an eco-friendly version, you can use old socks, or cloth rags as an alternative to outlandishly wasting so many trees as an attempt to stop your nose from running off your face.